


The MCU makes group chats

by alizziema (orphan_account)



Series: The Avengers are dorks and I refuse to believe otherwise [4]
Category: Fantastic Four, Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen-z Icons, Irondad, Memes, Peter Parker's Horrible Influence, Peter and Shuri are intellectuals, Steve Rodgers is learning ladies and gents, Steve and Bucky bromance, Team as Family, Text Icons, Texting, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony ships it, Tony's confused, don't kill me for making tik tok references, group chats are for the strong, he's so confused, please help him, teenagers being teenagers, the text fic we didn't know we needed, they're all crackheads, trash references, we STAN steve, we stan a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-12 19:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17473286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/alizziema
Summary: Last time on "Tony Stark Created an Avengers Group Chat"...tonystank: Waittonystank: yOU SON OF A BITCHorThe sequel we know we all neededissabird: no but like hear me outissabird: i don’t mind u hanging out and calling your AIs ur family or whatever cuz you made them and that’s chillissabird: but you literally ordered that toaster from amazonbegonethot: she hA S fEELINGs cLINt





	1. The Return

__

#####  _The Dream Team:_ Peter, Ned

chairdude: hey

chairdude: hey spooderdude

spooderdude: excuse me my name is arachnid homosapien you insensitive fuck

chairdude: oh shi my b lmao

chairdude: but

chairdude: about that new guy ur fighting

spooderdude: we dont talk about that

spooderdude: but also thor who

spooderdude: electro SNAPPEd

chairdude: ajsndjsa yOU RIGHt

spooderdude: but really

spooderdude: what do i do

chairdude: i mean tbh hes a lot bigger than you and he has lightning

chairdude: so like idk what to tell you man

chairdude: ur fucked

spooderdude: gee thanks

spooderdude: love the support

chairdude: dude im just being real here okay

chairdude: plus he teamed up with rhino so u know how thats gonna go

spooderdude: please dont remind me

chairdude: yeahhh

chairdude: rip nyc 

chairdude: i lived a good life

spooderdude: hhh shut up

spooderdude: i would ask for help but knowing all the insults they throw at me during battle..

spooderdude: everyone would flip out like

spooderdude: bruce? hhh-

spooderdude: thor? hhh- x2

spooderdude: nat? im sorry but i dont do murder

spooderdude: clint? ...actually clint might not be that bad but at the same time he wears like nothing for protection so

spooderdude: stephen? id end up dying

spooderdude: tony? 

spooderdude: loki?

chairdude: wADE

spooderdude: NEd N O

chairdude: lmaooo ikik

chairdude: but what about the fantastic 4 or matt

chairdude: u and johnny are pretty tight

spooderdude: thats actually not a bad idea but like

spooderdude: literally all of the people you mentioned intimidate me

spooderdude: like fucking reed richards? an icon

spooderdude: matt? hella badass

spooderdude: johnny? a celebrity

spooderdude: im? deceased 

spooderdude: hotel? trivago 

chairdude: ...be real how long have you been waiting to make that joke

spooderdude: a week

chairdude: i thought so

spooderdude: but it was still p good right

spooderdude: riiight

chairdude: mhmm

spooderdude: why do i feel like ur judging me

chairdude: probably cuz i am

spooderdude: dude

chairdude: bUt anyways

chairdude: tony sent me a video yesterday

spooderdude: since when did u have tony’s number

chairdude: since he figured out i hacked ur suit

chairdude: he said he wants me on his team when im older or some shit

chairdude: i obviously said yes and cried afterwards but its all chill

spooderdude: that is the most contextually romantic sounding platonic instance i have ever heard in my life

chairdude: ASKJNADFKL

spooderdude: but why didnt u tell meeeee

chairdude: idk it didnt come up

chairdude: and we lowkey complain abt u so

spooderman: wHAT

spooderman: NED

chairdude: hehehehehe

chairdude: hey dude my mom’s calling me gtg byeeee

spooderman: NEDD

spooderman: hEY

spooderman: CMeb A CK

spooderman: whaTSINTHEVIDe o

spooderman: NEDDDDDDDD

 

__

#####  _Assvengers:_ Clint, Sam, Steve, Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Bucky

begonethot: Can someone please tell me

begonethot: why the FUCK

begonethot: there’s a spatula in the toaster

begonethot: I paid good money for that toaster

issabird: **pepper

thot: Wait that wasn’t supposed to go in there?? Sam told me that’s how it worked

begonethot: Of fucking course it was you

imsoproudofthiscountry: Tony, it wasn’t Bucky’s fault, he just didn’t know.

begonethot: Oh yeah

begonethot: Right

begonethot: So sorry

Imsoproudofthiscountry: Tony…

thatshot: okay but in my defense it was hilarious as shit and its a great home screen soooo

begonethot: But you hurt Bridget

begonethot: She has feelings too

issabird: tony

issabird: i love u bro

motherrussia: No you don’t

issabird: no i don’t

issabird: but

issabird: i really think you’ve been hanging around your AIs too much

issabird: or peter

issabird: either way its becoming a problem

begonethot: It’s not a problem 

begonethot: It’s called compassion you insensitive fuck

issabird: no but like hear me out

issabird: i don’t mind u hanging out and calling your AIs ur family or whatever cuz you made them and that’s chill

issabird: but you literally ordered that toaster from amazon

begonethot: she hA S fEELINGs cLINt

thot: Is he drunk?

motherrussia: I honestly wouldn’t be surprised

imsoproudofthiscountry: Tony, where are you?

begonethot: In your heart

thatshot: awww

begonethot: And soul

thatshot: ...oh

begonethot: But yeah no I’m not drunk, I’ve just been texting Pete

begonethot: I was serious when I told you guys I’ve been sober

begonethot: Tho lowkey Peter’s influence is probably worse than cocaine

motherrussia: When are you going to let us see him in person by the way?

imsoproudofthiscountry: Yeah, I’ve been wanting to see Peter for a while.

begonethot: Okay one, not my kid biologically

begonethot: Two, when I want to

begonethot: Which isn’t now because the kid’s about to get into midterms and he doesn’t need any distractions 

thatshot: awwwww

thatshot: we love a loving father

begonethot: Dumbass

thatshot: read as: “i agree but also dont want to”

begonethot: Do you want to feel my wrath

imsoproudofthiscommunity: Hey, do you guys know where Bruce is? I haven’t seen him around and he hasn’t been on in a while.

motherrussia: He’s hanging out with Thor and Loki on Asgard

motherrussia: Again

thot: Really, again?

issabird: we stan a good bromance

thatshot: hell ye

thot: Wait, what’s a bromance?

thatshot: …

issabird: …

motherrussia: …

begonethot: I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that

thot: What did I do??? I just asked a question

issabird: yeah, and it was a stupid one

imsoproudofthiscountry: It wasn’t a stupid question. It was perfectly reasonable.

issabird: cASE IN POINT

thot: I’m very confused

thatshot: okay so like

thatshot: you asked what a bromance was

thatshot: and you and steve have the loudest fucking bromance on the planet

thatshot: so it was a bit of a shock that you didn’t even realize what you were doing

issabird: ^^^^^

issabird: it also means a platonic romance between two guy friends

thot: Oh…

thot: But Steve and I don’t flirt or anything like that

begonethot: bWAHAHAAHAHA

begonethot: “don’t flirt”

begonethot: AHAHAha

thot: Fuck off

issabird: “Oh Clint, doesn’t Stevie have perfect eyes~?*

thot: I’ve never said that in my life to you

thatshot: TO YOU

imsoproudofthiscountry: Hey, can we maybe talk about something else?

motherrussia: Sure, if you want to stay in denial about your bromance

imsoproudofthiscountry: Okay

imsoproudofthiscountry New topic then

issabird: OH! I have one

issabird: an egg beat kim kardashian in likes on instagram recently

thatshot: thank the fucking lord

thatshot we stan a good egg

motherrussia: You both are disgusting

issabird: come on nat

issabird: everyone’s quaking

issabird: they’re shook

thatshot: yeah, that egg yoted before kim could ever yeet

begonethot: I jst sp it out my coffe

thot: I guess you can say they yeed her haw

issabird: shut the fuck up lmao

thatshot: come on nat, give us a reference

thatshot: something good and fresh

motherrussia: no

issabird: natttttt

issabird: dont be a party pooper

issabird: pooper dooper

issabird: snooper shooper

issabird: nooper snooter

motherrussia: Okay, okay, look

motherrussia: I would, but it could be a hit or miss

issabird: HSAIDBSAHI

thatshot: WE StAn QUEens ONLY

begonethot: I stand by nat, you guys are really ugly lmao

issabird: bold of you to believe we didnt already know

thot: ...i guess they never miss huh

thatshot: AHHAA

thatshot: you were late though

thot: I left to go take a shit what more do you want from me

motherrussia: Mercy

issabird: …..wait

issabird: OH SHI

thatshot: YOU SHOULDVE PICKED MERCY

begonethot: You guys are worse than middle schoolers

begonethot: I’m cringing so hard

imsoproudofthiscountry: ...and that’s how mafia works.

 

****

####  **Next time on MCU group chats. . .**

__

#####  _Teenage Mutant Superheroes:_ Peter, Shuri, Johnny, Groot

yotedoat: shuri

gettedbread: shuri plz

coppedcrust: i am gROOT

obtainedgrain: *breathes*

obtainedgrain: CHUNGA CHUNGA CHUNGA CHUNGA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back bitch
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> why am I like this


	2. Teenage Troubles and Tribulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _yeetedwheat: GASp_  
>   
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> _obtainedgrain: don’t throw off our perfectly poly relationship_
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> _obtainedgrain: goddamn_
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> _yotedoat: whoops sorry got carried away there_
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> _yotedoat: groot just got too caught up in my smoking hot looks_
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> _coppedcrust: i am groooot_
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> _obtainedgrain: ..i’m gonna pretend you didn’t just make a fire pun to boost your ego_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is completely self indulgent trash lmao
> 
> if you don't get the references it's completely fine haha
> 
> if you get them all, nice
> 
> I don upon you the helmet of destruction (+5 charisma)
> 
> enjoy the chapter~

#####  _Miss Frizzle’s spawn_ : Peter, Ned, MJ, Flash, Abe, Charles, Cindy, Sally 

 

notfromdc: hey y’all who’s got the answers from harrison’s hw last night

shelly: flash r u serious

shelly: its so easy

notfromdc: i mean yeah but i dont wanna do it

notfromdc: so send up

cindylouwho: ur kidding

cindylouwho: flash we’re not stupid

shelly: yeah harrison’s gonna know

shelly: he’s super anal about these things

notfromdc: you know who’s also anal

notfromdc: ( _this message was deleted _)__

____

notfromdc: fucking michelle really

____

notfromdc: you didnt even know what i was going to write

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badbih: im the leader of the team for a reason flash

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badbih: and it doesnt take a genius to know what you were going to say

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notfromdc: whatever

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firstnamecharles: flash you seriously gotta stop with this stuff

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lincoln: yeah man it’s getting old

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notfromdc: not my fault penis is a loser

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notfromdc: it’s his fault lmao

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firstnamecharles: y’know what flash

____

firstnamecharles: i’ve been holding this back for a long time 

____

firstnamecharles: but i’m gonna say it

____

firstnamecharles: i don’t care that you broke your elbow

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notfromdc: bRUH

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lincoln: AHAASHFB

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shelly: cHA Rles

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cindylouwho: jesus christ

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firstnamecharles: but for real tho its getting old

____

firstnamecharles: plus peter isnt even here thats just shady

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peterparkour: nah im here im just lurking 

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peterparkour: and writing an essay last minute kms

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firstnamecharles: oh

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badbih: hey peter

____

peterparkour: hey mj

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notfromdc: sup dickwad

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peterparkour: ..hi flash

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notfromdc: did you seriously just intentionally write dots to sound sarcastic over text

____

notfromdc: who the hell do you think you are

____

lincoln: okay okay okay

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lincoln: before things get crazy why don’t we just talk about something that makes us all happy

____

lincoln: like idk

____

lincoln: spiderman?

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notfromdc: BRO

____

notfromdc: did you see his fight against scorpion last night

____

notfromdc: that was sO sick

____

notfromdc: i think i saw an explosion from my window

____

cindylouwho: uwu such admiration and respect

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notfromdc: shut up

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peterparkour: it looked rlly cool yeah

____

badbih: but also insanely reckless 

____

badbih: he almost got killed

____

peterparkour: yeah but he has healing or smth right

____

peterparkour: plus he’s a professional

____

badbih: “professional”

____

peterparkour: yeah, he’s a professional

____

badbih: definitely

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notfromdc: uhm im sorry eXCUSe me

____

notfromdc: did you just insult my lord and saviour

____

notfromdc: bitch leave

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firstnamecharles: flashhh ew

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firstnamecharles: stop being such a loud fanboy

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notfromdc: bitch LEAVE

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#####  _Teenage Mutant Superheroes_ : Peter, Shuri, Johnny, Groot

____

 

____

yeetedwheat: WAJSASBLDJ YALL IM CRYING

____

yeetedwheat: I CANT FUHJING BREATHE

____

yotedoat: what happened lmao

____

yeetedwheat: flash deadass called me a dick and then started fucking fanboying over spidey

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yeetedwheat: and i mean like uwu fanboying

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yeetedwheat: its so ugly and im liVING

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yotedoat: AHHHGHAGHAH

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yotedoat: godddd

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yotedoat: nooooo

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yeetedwheat: johnny i cant breathe

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yotedoat: peter nO

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yeetedwheat: peter yES

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yeetedwheat: i keep getting the notifications im SCREECHING

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yeetedwheat: and now tony’s looking at me weird

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obtainedgrain: wait what

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obtainedgrain: that asshole’s a fanboy of spidey hULLO???

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obtainedgrain: sis i cant not today

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yotedoat: ikrrr

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yeetedwheat: i feel bad for talking behind his back but at the same time its so out of character

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obtainedgrain: LMAO dont feel bad

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obtainedgrain: he deserves it

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yeetedwheat: i mean you right but

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coppedcrust: i am groot

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yotedoat: ...groot ur seriously such an intellectual

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yotedoat: marry me

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obtainedgrain: jOHNNY

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coppedcrust: i am groot.

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obtainedgrain: gROOOOT

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yeetedwheat: GASp

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obtainedgrain: don’t throw off our perfectly poly relationship

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obtainedgrain: goddamn

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yotedoat: whoops sorry got carried away there

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yotedoat: groot just got too caught up in my smoking hot looks

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coppedcrust: i am groooot

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obtainedgrain: ..i’m gonna pretend you didn’t just make a fire pun to boost your ego

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yotedoat: fire puns are lit bro

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yeetedwheat: EW

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yotedoat: damn im on fire today

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obtainedgrain: STOP

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coppedcrust: I AM GROOOT

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yotedoat: these puns keep coming out rapid fire

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yotedoat: just like i fire my guns at the ladies

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yotedoat: not literally, we respect women in this christian household

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coppedcrust: i

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coppedcrust: i am groot

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yeetedwheat: same

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obtainedgrain: johnny

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obtainedgrain: if you dont stop im gonna do it

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yeetedwheat: ..oh shit

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yotedoat: o

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yotedoat: well

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yotedoat: now i dont feel too hot

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obtainedgrain: you asked for it

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yotedoat: wait wait shuri i didnt mean it

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obtainedgrain: *exhales*

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yeetedwheat: wait shuri dont

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coppedcrust: i am groot!

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yotedoat: shuri

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yeetedwheat: shuri plz

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coppedcrust: i am gROOT

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obtainedgrain: *breathes*

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obtainedgrain: CHUNGA CHUNGA CHUNGA CHUNGA

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yeetedwheat: AAAAAH GOD

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yotedoat: nO NO STOP FUCK

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yotedoat: I CLAIM TRACER

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obtainedgrain: CHUNGA’S ALREADY TRACER BITCH AHAHA

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obtainedgrain: CHUNGA’S EVERYTHING

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obtainedgrain: CHUNGA’S THE WORLD

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obtainedgrain: AND CHUNGA DONT GIVE A SHIT

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yotedoat: NOOOO GOD ITS TOO STRONG

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yotedoat: MY VIRGIN EYES

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yeetedwheat: stop lying you know that aint true

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yotedoat: ...you right ;)

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yotedoat: bUT FUCK

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yotedoat: I WASN’T PREPARED FOR A BATTLE

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yeetedwheat: THE MEME IS TOO STRONG FOR US JOHNNY

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yeetedwheat: WHAT DO WE DO

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coppedcrust: I AM GROOT???

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yotedoat: omg thats a great idea shit groot

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yotedoat: vIOLA’S ARE SHIT

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obtainedgrain: yeah they aren’t i n t e r e s t i n g

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yotedoat: FUCK

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yeetedwheat: violas? I thought they were called firewood

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yotedoat: OH SHIT ATTACK DEFLECTED

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obtainedgrain: i bet all violists have ligma

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obtainedgrain: johnny you probably have ligma

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yotedoat: *pulls out a reverse uno card*

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yotedoat: fight me bitch

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yeetedwheat: OOOH SHIT

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obtainedgrain: OOF

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yotedoat: peter

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yotedoat: call i get a hell yeah

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obtainedgrain: AJSNDKAS

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yeetedwheat: hELL YEAH

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yeetedwheat: wait

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yeetedwheat: oooooooh

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yotedoat: yeahhhh

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yeetedwheat: i see what u did there

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obtainedgrain: we stan jenna marbles

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coppedcrust: i am groot

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yotedoat: fUCK

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yeetedwheat: shit groot

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obtainedgrain: damn man we didnt have to go there that soon

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obtainedgrain: idk why youre in such a big time rush

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coppedcrust: HHHH

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yeetedwheat: jesus christ shuri

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yeetedwheat: u really aboutta come in here and bring me a birthday gift on a birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift

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obaintedgrain: why does that lowkey have the same energy as jeffree star giving shane dawson pig shit tho

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yeetedwheat: sTOP

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obtainedgrain: with the gucci ass fucking pig pin

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yotedoat: yah but that’s lowkey more ryland’s reaction tho

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obtainedgrain: i mean i can see that

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yeetedwheat: y’all it’s been real but i gotta blast lmao

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yeetedwheat: i need to finish my english essay

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coppedcrust: i am groot!

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obtainedgrain: yeah ttyl

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yotedoat: go get that education bruh

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yeetedwheat: lmaoooo

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yeetedwheat: byeee

____

 

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#####  _Dad chat_ : Tony, Peter

____

 

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irondad: I don’t know if I would call looking up pictures of johnny storm an essay but 

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irondad: You do you

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spiderson: tONY

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****

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####  **Next time on MCU group chats. . .**

____

 

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__

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#####  _Aliens of the Galaxy_ : Thor, Loki, Brunhilde, Quill, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Mantis

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lowkeyalive: Some of you haven’t killed yourself and it shows

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kevinbacon: some of you haven’t killed your dad and it shows

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invalidatesgreeks: Some of you haven’t killed your people and it shows

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stillnotaraccoon: some of you haven’t stolen a man’s pancreas and tried to make it into jerky and eat it during a heist and it DEFINITELY shows

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kevinbacon: …

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kevinbacon: rocket wtf

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such trash
> 
> You guys like trash? I hope you do
> 
>  
> 
> see y'all next time LMAO


	3. Please Stan for the Pledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _myprecious: but if you ever need our help, don’t be afraid to call_
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> _itswednesdaymydudes: i won’t :)_
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> _thighsandquads: awwwww_
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> _itswednesdaymydudes: hshshshshs_
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> _heyzeus: Does doth know whereth thine fruit residue resides_
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> _heyzeus: I thirst_
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> _ninkiminjaj: AHAHSHS_
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> _tonystank: ...what the everloving fuck_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guysss
> 
> so
> 
> I have an idea for a more writing-based avengers infinity war/endgame fanfic that I wanna start writing, and I was wondering if ya'll would be interested in reading it or not?? Let me know in the comments what you think :)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter~

#####  _Aliens of the Galaxy: Thor, Loki, Brunhilde, Quill, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Mantis_

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ragingalcoholic: alright bitches 

____

ragingalcoholic: i have some new material for sale 

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stillnotaraccoon: is it the arm? 

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stillnotaraccoon: please tell me its the arm 

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ragingalcoholic: it’s not the arm 

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stillnotaracoon: FUCK 

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angstplant: I am groot. 

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stillnotaraccoon: i’m not paying any money to the swear jar groot it’s for you, we’ve gone over this 

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stillnotaraccoon: and i have reason to be angry 

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notadancer: Why, because that man beat the shit out of you when you tried to steal his arm? 

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stillnotaraccoon: ..yes, gamora 

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stillnotaraccoon: that’s the exact reason 

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stillnotaraccoon: thanks for the comment 

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stillnotaraccoon: really appreciate it 

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kevinbacon: Maybe then that’s just a lesson that you shouldn’t steal people’s body parts Rocket 

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kevinbacon: Maybe it’s a sign to let go 

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stillnotaraccoon: don’t play that card quill, you know it won’t work on me 

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stillnotaraccoon: i know what i want and i’m not going to stop for you 

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ragingalcoholic: oooh fiesty 

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ragingalcoholic: well I’m not sure what will interest you in this haul, but I did manage to pick up some interesting stuff 

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ragingalcoholic: a picture of a bald tony stark, thor with his hair in pigtails, loki wearing clown makeup, thanos’s baby pictures.. 

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kevinbacon: Thanos’s baby pictures?? 

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kevinbacon: How did you even find those, his planet’s destroyed 

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lowkeyalive: I stopped trying to question her 

____

kevinbacon: But why?? 

____

kevinbacon: Wait clown makeup?? 

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ragingalcoholic: so these’ll be about 25 units each, a little bit more for the baby pictures because they’re in mint condition and rare 

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ragingalcoholic: pay up boys 

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lowkeyalive: I’ll take the bald stark one 

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stillnotaraccoon: pigtails for me 

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notadancer: Baby pictures 

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invalidatesgreeks: Clown makeup 

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lowkeyalive: Brother. 

____

invalidatesgreeks: What? I want to cherish that wonderful memory once more, I thought it had been lost. 

____

lowkeyalive: But it’s humiliating! 

____

invalidatesgreeks: Such is life, brother 

____

kevinbacon: Why is nobody questioning where she got these?? 

____

ragingalcoholic: look man, i don’t even know 

____

ragingalcoholic: they just appear one day on my bed after i wake up from blacking out on those nights when im really drunk 

____

ragingalcoholic: i thought it happened to everyone so ive kinda collected it all and done nothing with it 

____

ragingalcoholic: but a trip to earth taught me capitalism and here we are 

____

ragingalocholic: i’d honestly recommend it, it’s a nice lifestyle 

____

kevinbacon: Capitalism? What’s that? 

____

kevinbacon: I don’t remember learning about that 

____

invalidiatesgreeks: Oh, capitalism! That’s easy, we can teach you 

____

invalidatesgreeks: Apparently humans on earth learn it by playing this game called monopoly 

____

kevinbacon: Wait, I think I remember hearing about that game as a kid 

____

kevinbacon: I don’t think I’ve ever played it though 

____

stillnotaraccoon ew, sounds boring 

____

ragingalcoholic: it’s about earning money and dominating your fellow players by breaking their trust in you and stealing from them until you triumph 

____

stillnotaraccon: sign me up. 

____

kevinbacon: That’s kinda harsh but I doubt I’d lose 

____

notadancer: Mhmm. 

____

lowkeyalive: Harsh? I don’t think you know harsh 

____

kevinbacon: Uh I’m sorry, what? 

____

kevinbacon: My backstory is edgier and more intense than you could ever imagine 

____

kevinbacon: It’s like 

____

kevinbacon: Soul stone world level edge 

____

kevinbacon: Edges on the highest ledges 

____

notadancer: Peter. 

____

kevinbacon: ...what, too soon? 

____

stillnotaracoon: i personally think mine’s the edgiest but whatever 

____

kevinbacon: Um, excuse me? 

____

lowkeyalive: Norns 

____

lowkeyalive: Some of you haven’t killed yourself and it shows 

____

kevinbacon: Some of you haven’t killed your dad and it shows 

____

invalidatesgreeks: Some of you haven’t killed your people and it shows 

____

stillnotaraccoon: some of you haven’t stolen a man’s pancreas and tried to make it into jerky and eat it during a heist and it DEFINITELY shows 

____

kevinbacon: … 

____

kevinbacon: rocket wtf 

____

ragingalcoholic: monopoly still beats all of that 

____

notadancer: Just how brutal is this game? 

____

ragingalcoholic: ohohohoh just you wait 

____

invalidatesgreeks: We should all get together with the Avengers and our friends to play a large game of Monopoly together! 

____

stillnotaraccoon: yeah! that sounds like it couldn’t have any negative repercussions whatsoever 

____

notadancer: I think it’s a great idea, Thor 

____

kevinbacon: I was thinking that too 

____

kevinbacon: Just 

____

kevinbacon: By the way 

____

lowkeyalive: I agree with the small creature’s sentiments 

____

invalidatesgreeks: Come on, it’ll be fun! 

____

invalidatesgreeks: I’ll contact them now to see when they’re available 

____

stillnotaraccoon: well, its your death, not mine 

____

____

#####  _DON’T USE THIS CHAT: Tony, Steve, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Peter, Strange, Loki, Brunnhilde, Quill, Gamora, Groot, Rocket, Drax, Mantis, Scott, Shuri, T’Challa, Rhodey_

____

lordofthunder: Hello friends! Would you like to join me and the Guardians in a friendly game of monopoly? I hear from Brunnhilde it’s popular on Midgard 

____

tonystank: Thor. 

____

tonystank: Look at the title of the chat 

____

lordofthunder: ...oh 

____

myprecious: WELP i mean 

____

myprecious: the damage is already done 

____

myprecious: i say we can officially use this chat again 

____

thighsandquads: im okay with that 

____

tonystank: No 

____

tonystank: We’re not doing this again 

____

heyzeus: Why not? 

____

tonystank: Do you know how much the electric bill went up because people needed to charge their phones more? 

____

tonystank: I house you guys 

____

tonystank: My house, my rules 

____

manwithadinnerplate: I thought we all owned the tower 

____

myprecious: yeah and you’re a billionaire the bill shouldn’t be a problem 

____

tonystank: That’s true but 

____

tonystank: It’s still a problem 

____

myprecious: that doesn’t make any sense 

____

tonystank: My rules, Barton 

____

myprecious: ughhhh 

____

myprecious: “yes dad” 

____

ninkiminjaj: my spidey senses are tingling 

____

ninkiminjaj: mayhaps heavy entertainment is in our near future 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: dont come for my brand like that shuri 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: ill copy strike you 

____

ninkiminjaj: SKSKS 

____

tonystank: Hey Pete 

____

tonystank: How’s it been? You haven’t been at the tower all week 

____

ninkiminjaj: don’t get him started 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: it’s too late 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: i’m started 

____

myprecious: oh shit he’s started 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: you got me started 

____

ninkiminjaj: be careful, he’s started 

____

heyzeus: Fuck, he’s started? 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: i’m so started guys 

____

thighsandquads: fUCK man he’s started 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: you don’t wanna know about the things i do when i’m started 

____

ninkiminjaj: guys fuck we’re so screwed he's so started 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: yeah i’m so fucking started 

____

myprecious: he’s so fucking started guys what have you done 

____

ninkiminjaj: look at his eyes he's so started guys 

____

myprecious: fuck man 

____

heyzeus: Oh shit dude 

____

thighsandquads: fuck. 

____

manwithadinnerplate: … 

____

tonystank: ;) 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: ..aNyways 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: so it turns out all the villains ive been fighting have been working together this entire time and i had no idea 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: and so last week they probably got together and we’re all like “hey guys, it’s ‘lets fuck with spiderman’ week” 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: and that’s basically been my week 

____

ninkiminjaj: finished. 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: LMAO 

____

mewlingquim: Peter, why didn’t you call us? We would’ve helped you out 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: because you guys were doing press all week 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: and it’s fine, i have it all handled 

____

ninkiminjaj: i can attest to that ^^ 

____

ninkiminjaj: johnny and i have been helping out 

____

myprecious: oof well if you say so 

____

myprecious: but if you ever need our help, don’t be afraid to call 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: i won’t :) 

____

thighsandquads: awwwww 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: hshshshshs 

____

heyzeus: Does doth know whereth thine fruit residue resides 

____

heyzeus: I thirst 

____

ninkiminjaj: AHAHSHS 

____

tonystank: ...what the everloving fuck 

____

thighsandquads: ‘tis simply o’er past the chamber hall, thine residue sitting in a simple box to quench thy thirst 

____

heyzeus: Ay, grace, good sir 

____

myprecious: i’m concerned 

____

mewlingquim: What the hell just happened? 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: shakespeare in the park 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: doth mother know you weareth her drapes 

____

tonystank: Why does that kinda sound familiar? 

____

tonystank: Wait 

____

ninkiminjaj: icantdothis 

____

ninkiminjaj: i need to get some water or something i cant 

____

myprecious: she need some mILK 

____

thighsandquads: stop. just stop. 

____

lordofthunder: ..So 

____

lordofthunder: Do you all wish to play monopoly together? 

____

myprecious: i’m down for that 

____

thighsandquads: as long as i’m on bucky’s team its all good with me 

____

heyzeus: Yeah, as long as I’m on Steve’s team too 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: i wanna be on a team with shuri and mr. stark! 

____

tonystank: Kid, call me Tony, please. You’re making me feel old. 

____

tonystank: And I’m up for that too, it seems fun. 

____

manwithadinnerplate: I’ve never played monopoly before.. 

____

tonystank: It’s fun. It’s all about capitalism and making money. 

____

myprecious: right up your ally 

____

tonystank: You’re not wrong 

____

ninkiminjaj: lmao you right 

____

ninkiminjaj: omg wAIT peter 

____

ninkiminjaj: please tell me we’re thinking the same thing 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: i mean idk about you but 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: finally, i can keep these pennies to myself 

____

ninkiminjaj: i sMeLL pEnNies 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: hAHAHSDHSAH 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: HAhhh 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: the one tiktok that’s actually funny 

____

ninkiminjaj: yeah 

____

thighsandquads: rip vine 

____

myprecious: press f to pay respects 

____

itswednesdaymydudes: f 

____

ninkiminjaj: f 

____

thighsandquads: f 

____

heyzeus: f 

____

tonystank: Wait, why are we doing this 

____

mewlingquim: f 

____

myprecious: f 

____

greanbeanbanner: f 

____

doesntlikeedsheeran: f 

____

tonystank: Guys why are we doing this 

____

manwithadinnerplate: f 

____

upallnighttogetloki: f 

____

notaraccoon: f 

____

antmanwithaplan: f 

____

tonystank: Where the hell are you guys even coming from?? You weren’t on a second ago 

____

byefelicia: f 

____

everybodywantstobeacat: f 

____

theotherpeter: f 

____

tonystank: guys 

____

iamgroot: f 

____

thesuperioralcoholic: f 

____

thisisgamora: f 

____

thedraxattack: f 

____

tonystank: ?????? 

____

thelivinglullaby: f 

____

wandabear: f 

____

theandroidsentbycyberlife: f 

____

tonystank: … 

____

tonystank: ...wh 

____

theotherpeter: So next friday sound good? 

____

myprecious: yup 

____

byefelicia: Good talk guys 

____

antmanwithaplan: Yeah! I can’t wait to get together again, this is going to be so fun. 

____

upallnighttogetloki: So are we doing teams? 

____

thighsandquads: yeah, teams of maybe 4 or smth 

____

wandabear: Alright! 

____

tonystank: I 

____

doesntlikeedsheeran: It’s alright Tones. Just take a breath. 

____

tonystank: ejkt?????????? 

____

myprecious: i think he’s broken 

____

ninkiminjaj: have you tried turning it off and on 

____

thighsandquads: hAH 

____

mewlingquim: I’ll get the bleach 

____

manwithadinnerplate: Wait guys 

____

manwithadinnerplate: What if Cinderella was a sports slave instead of a cleaning slave and her name was Coachella 

____

_Somewhere in the distance, if one listens close enough, you can hear Tony Stark softly sobbing._

____

____

____

####  **Next time on MCU group chats. . .**

____

____

“Hey guys, welcome to my yeet and great, we have chicken strips--” 

____

“ _fUCk ya chicken strips!_ ”

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, what do you guys think of some written bits in the next chapter~
> 
> I really want to write out the game of monopoly and not skip over it lmao, I have way too many ideas
> 
> but yeah, hope you guys enjoyed!  
>    
> see y'all in the next one


	4. ALERT

GUYS

GUYs

So I know this isn't an update and I'm really sorry but it's coming soon I promise, I've just been really holed up with school work and life

BUT

I just released the prologue for a multi chapter fic I've been wanting to make for a while, and I'm beyond excited for it

Please stop by and check it out! It's called Checkmate, and I really want it to get lots of love because I love it sO much- (I'm tragic fml)

But yeah, that's all I have to say lol

PLEASE CHECK IT OUT

 

 

Sidenote: The next chapter is on it's way, and I am sorry for the wait. My teachers are shoving AP prep at me like fans shove their panties at Chris Hemsworth, and it's murdering me. It should be out by next weekend at the latest though!

Sidenote 2: Captain marvel and endgame in the next two months??? Am I alive??? Will I survive??? Probably not. I'll see y'all in the soul stone.


End file.
